Pray for the willingness to feel your feelings.
Learn to notice when you are shying away from feeling something & see if you can face it.
See how the current situation reminds you of something in your childhood.
If you are not ready, admit that to yourself rather than finding excuses.
Admitting where you are is, in itself, a positive step in this process.
Explore why you are unwilling. Be honest. The goal here is not to force yourself to act or feel differently, but to see the truth and allow that to lead you where it will in its own time.
When you feel blame toward another, stop & see if there is something you are not willing to feel.
It cannot be stressed enough that this needs to be a gentle process. Be loving and understanding with yourself. If you judge or berate yourself, you are not in truth & you are likely to trigger even stronger defense mechanisms. If you are gentle with yourself, you will find that as you expose these things, you will find greater strength, joy, safety, love, hope & fulfillment.