Notice when you are at a choice point and what the choices are and the feelings related to them. There are times every day when we have to choose between holding in (we hold on to a grudge or we are afraid of feeling humiliated or it doesn’t feel safe for some other reason to give out) and giving out. Simply notice the dilemma and your normal response and how it makes you feel.
See if you can choose to give out despite the apparent risk. The new always seems a little risky; we do what feels familiar because it feels safe, even if painful. And, of course giving up our “case” or whatever it is, feels very risky.
If you successfully choose to give, take the time to notice how you feel. Every time you make this choice it gets easier. And every time you make this choice you open up so that you can receive more. You therefore receive the pleasure of the giving, but you also open your system to receive the abundance all around you. Giving is the doorway to receiving.
If you choose to follow the familiar way, notice how you feel without judgment. The point here is not to feel guilty or that you were bad, but merely notice the impact that it has on you. Then see if you can make a different choice the next time. Eventually, you will make that first choice to give & it will become easier and easier.
* Much of this article is based on Pathwork® lecture 155, Fear of Self; Giving and Receiving which can be downloaded from http://www.pathwork.org/lectures.html.